Read the following statements, and rate each on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being "no, this doesn't describe me at all (followed by a look of disgust) and 5 being "yes this is me EXACTLY, and...and...it all makes sense now" (followed by a long, deep sleep.)
Here we go:
1. After extolling the virtues of vintage clothing, someone in the vicinity usually slaps you and tells you to snap out of it. Huh. Didn't realize you looked so crazed, DID you?
2. Instead of curing your boredom at work with a game of Solitaire (otherwise known as Crack-taire), you figure out how many words you can make from the letters in "Vintage." Weird.
3. You know how sometimes late at night, you wish you could have pizza delivered...directly to your mouth? Strangely, this is also how you feel about vintage clothing. Except for the whole mouth part.
4. You know the detailed history of every major fashion house going all the way back to the time when there were such things as giant sloths and tiny 2 foot tall horses.
5. You reference old-school designers out of context so often that your "uneducated" friends think Charles James is your great uncle and Vionnet is your pet guinea pig.
Ok. How did you do? If you answered mostly 5's, then you stay right here. no, no. DON'T get distracted by something less fun.
If you answered mostly 1's, then you get the heck out of here. Or stick it out, and just make yourself a stiff drink. Now would be a good time.
If you answered somewhere in the middle, then I will have to Jedi mind-trick you a bit into staying. Or you could also just make yourself a stiff drink. Whichever.
Waiiiiit, okay, just one more little test. I know, I know, you're beginning to feel like a CIA recruit, but I promise this test involves pictures, which we both know are MUCH more fun than words.
The name of the next test is "How Vintage am I?"
Rate the following images on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being "I'm not vintage at all and this test is stupid" and 5 being "I'm so vintage I speak in a dialect that's no longer even used today. Like Sanskrit or something."
Take your time. These are tough.
Good, good. Alright, here's the next one:
(Insert jeopardy music here.)
Okay, yes. And now for the next one:
WHOA! What. Giant Sloth?
Well, at least I have your attention now. You're probably starting to realize that all of those little tests were really just a ploy to get you to stick around and read this whole blog. If the giant sloth didn't scare you away, and you want to see more of the pretties above, then maybe you'll be back. Because for next time, I PROMISE it will be something really rockin' - as in, over the next 2 weeks, I'm going to chronicle the very best vintage dresses on the web. I'm going to scour high an low to find you the most stunning, most exciting, most unusual and MOST vintage frocks available. So stick around for the whole series because it's gonna be rad.
And in the meantime, check out my vintage picks from eBay on our sister site, myvintagecompass.com - a brand new (still under construction) vintage clothing resource for buyers AND sellers.